Articles & Blogs
& Blogger Sites
-- Written by Parents --
This section contains resources written by other parents including articles, blog posts and a list of bloggers.
Information in "quotes" was taken directly from the source.
By Amanda Jetté Knox for the Canadian Human Rights Museum "Stories" collection. (2020?)
"Names and pronouns may change but love stays constant."
By Rhiannon Jones. Contributed to The Globe and Mail. July 12, 2021. (Alberta)
"We do not know what will come next as we learn the culture of our new world. I am wrapping my soul around him, trying to pad the hurt that might come, but excited for his future. I know he has obstacles in front of him, but I take solace in that he does not have to face them alone. My bad days are mostly distant.”
I’m not an amazing mom for accepting my transgender son
By Tammy Plunkett. 2020 . (Alberta)
“When I told friends and family that our 11-year-old was transitioning, I was inundated with praise for supporting him. But that’s because I was hiding my grief, anger and sadness."
"Tammy is a former ICU nurse turned author, coach to parents of transgender children, and a mom to a transgender son and 3 other amazing kids, and advocate for all LGBTQ+.” Click HERE for Facebook page.
By Amanda Jetté Knox. Today's Parent magazine, April 2021. (Ontario, Canada)
"Two weddings and two gender transitions make for one happy family"
By Amanda Jetté Knox. Blog post. Feb 2018. (Ontario, Canada)
Amanda is the author of Love Lives Here. Author, and Maven of Mayhem on Twitter.
By Amanda Jetté Knox. Today's Parent magazine, May 2018. (Ontario, Canada)
"New research reveals MRI scans show transgender kids are very much who they say they are—but what are the implications of demanding objective proof? "
Parenting a transgender child
By Gail Marlene Schwartz. Dec 2014.
“When your son says he’s a girl, or your daughter says she’s a boy, how do you handle it?”
Uncommon girls: Edmonton mom pens memoir about transgender daughter
"When we started this seven years ago, there was no book for me to read"
CBC News. Posted Jul 26, 2019. (Alberta)
"Carla Grant hopes her new memoir serves as an unconventional guide to parenting a transgender child. Grant recently published Uncommon Girls, an unflinching and sometimes absurd account of a girl and a family in transition.
'When we started this seven years ago, there was no book for me to read,' Grant said in an interview Friday with CBC Radio's Edmonton AM. 'I really wanted another book out there for a grandparent or a parent to be able to pick it up and say, someone has travelled this path before.' Written as a journal, with conversations captured in verbatim, Uncommon Girls chronicles Ella's often difficult transition to life as a girl."
By Get REAL. (Canada)
Booklet with advice from parents and video clips of families.
"Unconditional Love is an online educational resource to help families navigate the coming out process through education, tips, and additional resources. The webpage is a hub of videos featuring real stories and advice from five diverse families, including a downloadable PDF with our 5 key tips and additional resources for both families and youth.
Get REAL began as a small student project in 2011, at Western University. As O-Week volunteer leaders, we saw excellent results combatting homophobic, transphobic, and racist language and attitudes one-to-one with our first year students: countless students changing their language within a matter of days, and countless others coming out to us and telling us they felt comfortable being themselves. We wanted to see if our approach – friendly, honest, diverse, and personal-story driven – could be translated into a workshop for some of our old high schools, and the idea for Get REAL was born."
Click to download and/or view the PDF.
US & INTERNATIONAL SOURCES
The day I knew my daughter was my son
Sarah Kennedy Coaching. Blog post. (US)
By Tracey Moore. The Washington Post, Opinion section, Oct 4, 2021. (US)
"I can’t pinpoint exactly when it started, but sometime in the past month, my 11-year-old daughter started talking about pronouns and identities.
And when it felt frustrating and urgent for her to sort out, I told her it was absolutely okay to let all this marinate, evolve and emerge for her and her friends on their timeline. And when those friends visiting us tell me their preferred pronouns, I use them. And when I slip up, I apologize and correct it.
We haven’t come to any conclusions here, but that doesn’t change what I would tell any parent, boss, teacher or colleague: Just buckle up and deal with it. Sure, it’s not automatic, and that’s okay. But it’s not going away.
.....this isn’t about you. It’s about stepping up as a parent in an era that’s new for all of us, but doubly delicate for our children, who need us to support their latest haircut as much as we would the person they’re becoming — whoever that person may be."
Epic fails as an LGBTQ+ parent
Sarah Kennedy Coaching. Blog post. (US)
“There are unique aspects of being the parent or supporter of an LGBTQIA+ child. Whether we like it or not, there are situations, conversations and challenges unique to us. And there is additional learning that must be done in order for us to approach these areas with knowledge and skill. Which also means there will be times we don’t have that knowledge or skill and make mistakes. Some of those mistakes even fall into the category of epic fails.”
Numerous articles. “Through the authentic stories of trans adults and parents of trans kids, GftT aims to inform as much as inspire. Brought to you by writer, trans advocate, and fierce 'MamaBear' Martie Sirois, GftT invites you to step out of your comfort zone, explore gender, and see beyond the binary.”
The gift of language: Learning what it means to be transgender
By Vanessa Nichols. Blog post. Dec 2019.
“Let’s continue to give the gift of passing on definitions and education and language for our trans community. Our entire lives are based off of education and learning and raising awareness. We can do this for our trans loved ones. It’s up to us, allies, to share the language we’ve learned with others who are uninformed. The onus isn’t on the trans community to educate. It’s on us. We know knowledge is power. It was a gift to learn the language I needed to understand my transgender son.”
Glossary of LBGTQ terms
By Liz Dyer, Founder of Serendipitydodah Home of the Mama Bears. (US)
A glossary of common LGBTQ terms.
Having a trans child has made me aware of how desperately the community needs allies
By Molly Mulready. Dec 2020
"Wherever you are and whoever you are, you can make a difference to the life of a trans person by not being a quiet bystander when someone makes a joke at their expense, and by being compassionate if someone tells you they are trans and need support. Many trans people are rejected by their family, and so friends become family, and that could mean you."
How to handle family misgendering your child
Sarah Kennedy Coaching. Blog post. (US)
“We know how important names and pronouns are to our LGBTQIA+ youth. We also know the reality that almost every family has at least one person who thinks mislabeling or misgendering your child will “change them” back into the person they were comfortable knowing. What do you do?”
I’m showing my transgender son unconditional love – Like any parent should
by Nicole Pecoraro. Scary Mommy post. Dec 2020
"If a child has an illness and there is a 50/50 chance they could die, most people in their right mind would take any and all necessary preventative measures given to them by the professionals. But, when a child is perfectly healthy and happens to be born with an identity that is misunderstood and doesn’t align with the 'norm,' some people seem to think they know better than the pros. Than research. Than statistics. They know better than science.
This experience taught me not only that unconditional love came with restrictions, but also that people who claim they would do anything for you or your child really mean they’d do anything… as long as it doesn’t mean they have to venture outside of their comfort zone. "
I have a transgender child, and I will keep telling our story until the hate stops
By Amber Leventry. Scary Mommy post. 2017 / Updated 2020
I wish I had understood more about trans kids before my son came out
By Vanessa Nichols. Scary Mommy post. Aug 2019.
“The caterpillar to the butterfly analogy certainly applies to our kids, as they become themselves within this amazing, beautiful journey. Their wings spread far and wide. And we, as affirming parents of trans kids, fly right behind them, finding our own wings, navigating a new path with so many unknowns in the beginning of the journey. There’s so much I wish I knew a few years ago and I hope that imparting these key points will assist other parents who might be new here. Here’s what I wish I knew.”
Importance of your story as an LGBTQIA+ parent
Sarah Kennedy Coaching. Blog post. (US)
“Your story is important. Your full experience of being a support for yourself and the LGBTQIA+ population is important. A marginalized population cannot make change on its own. We must own our role in becoming educated allies who are emotionally present and ready to support. To those who say it is not our lane, I offer a map to choose a different highway.”
By Thomas Rademacher. Jan 23, 2022.
Thomas is the author of Raising Ollie.
"Since releasing Raising Ollie, I’ve gotten many messages and emails from adults looking for advice on how best to support the young people in their lives. The book is a memoir about parenting and teaching and trying to do both in a way that does more good than harm. It’s not a how-to about anything, because I’m still figuring out how to. I’m not an expert on gender expansive youth (I’ll put a list of those at the bottom), and I’m not even really an expert on raising the one I’ve got. I have, however, learned some lessons while raising Ollie that I think are worth sharing. I thought I’d gather them together for anyone they may help."
Let me clear up some myths about transgender kids
by Vanessa Nichols. Nov 2018. Updated May 2020.
“I would like to dispel some myths and hopefully even squash some outright dangerous lies.”
By Liz Dyer, founder of Mama Bears. Oct 2021. (US)
Liz writes a letter to herself. "What I wish I had known when my son first came out".
Love is beautiful. And messy.
By Vanessa Nichols. Jan 2019. (Raising a trans child) Blog post.
“We all want to do the very best we can for that person we love. But love isn’t always easy. It’s not a paved road. Love is complex. It’s beautiful. It’s worth every step of the journey.”
A love letter to my granddaughter (who I knew as my grandson until five weeks ago)
By Maryann Durmer. Dec 2020. (UK)
“As my thoughts and heart transition to embrace this new you, please know one thing isn’t changing ― I love you.”
"Everything I wish I said when she first came out"
By Bridget Sampson, Transgender School. Feb 2021.
By Sarah Kennedy Coaching.
“When someone makes a name change or pronoun, it is a gift to be given the new ones. You have been entrusted with a piece of themselves so it is not to be taken lightly. Yet we are human and our brains love to work on autopilot. So they will make mistakes now and again. How we handle these mistakes is important.”
A message for parents of trans kids
By Liz Dyer, Founder of Serendipitydodah Home of the Mama Bears. Jan 2021.
“Being a parent isn’t about doing what is easy. It’s about doing what is best for your child.” Liz gives advice for parents of trans kids.
By Leslie Lagerstrom. Pride in Practice post. Oct 2019. (US)
Leslie has the blog Transparenthood. “As we walk into the urgent care clinic, my stomach begins to knot. It’s a weekend, and my son has a bloody nose that will not stop. What is a mundane visit for most people is not for us, because my son is transgender. As we check in, uncomfortable memories of previous interactions with medical professionals wash over me. We have been at this for 15 years, but we are still never sure what to expect when we visit a doctor’s office.
Our LGBT health care resources have been viewed by thousands of providers, patients, and community members. From providers and students, to patients and their families, Pride in Practice’s educational materials have made a real impact on LGBT patient health."
An open letter to moms struggling to support their trans child
By Vanessa Nichols. May 2020. Blog post.
“So, your child threw you for a loop, came out as trans recently? Or maybe not so recently. I know you’re scared. That’s fear under every single statement and thought above. It’s fear. Recognize it as such. It’s new, it’s foreign, it’s big, it’s scary. And if your child is transgender, it might mean that their life will be so.much.harder. And that feels big and scary. My trans son tried to tell me from the time he could talk that he was a boy. I didn’t believe him. For years.
But they sure are their own people, after all. They’re never that imaginary person in our minds. They are them. And a piece of them might just be that they were assigned the wrong gender at birth. A piece of them might just be that they’re transgender. Because it’s really scary. And confusing. We’ve known that there’s no manual for motherhood, but this wasn’t even on your radar.”
The process of coming out: A parent’s journey
By Vanessa Nichols. Feb 2019. Blog post.
“We essentially come out with our kids in many ways. We have our own process to reconcile. Our story is important. We can empower other parents walking this path, helping them to continue to affirm trans youth, who obviously become trans adults. So we can start by letting our children be who they are. We are in a position of empowerment to amplify the conversation as frontline allies. We need to tell our stories, too, for ourselves, for other parents, and for our kids’ health. I’m here, with my transgender son, loud and proud. My story matters because I made a lot of mistakes. And I hope someone learns from them.”
"It's not uncommon for parents of trans kids to wonder if their kid, who has come out to them as a trans person, is "really" a trans person. Parents often share many reasons with me why they have doubts and it's not that these parents I'm talking to are unsupportive - these are very supportive parents who are having trouble believing their kid is really a trans person because their kid didn't "show any signs" before they came out, or because their kid is not dressing the way they think a trans boy/man or trans girl/woman would dress, or because their kid is not saying what they expect a trans person to say about the way they feel.
Here's what I have been learning over the last few years from trans people, science and gender specialists:"
Secrets in the LGBTQIA+ family
Sarah Kennedy Coaching. Blog post. (US)
“We are a place of safety and belonging for our children. But in order to provide that space, we must also provide it for ourselves. To support our children, we must also support ourselves. And in order for our children to go forth in their bravery without shame, we must learn the skills of bravery and rid ourselves of our own shame.”
She invented the gender reveal party. She has some regrets.
By Allison Hope. July 2019. (US)
“The child Jenna Karvunidis welcomed with a pink-frosted cake is now ten and prefers to wear suits."
Experiences raising a transgender child
"I am not a writer. I am an executive (who has a social worker’s heart!) and a wife who happens to have a CIS son and a transgender son. Along with helping me digest my thoughts, I simply hope this helps some other parents out there who are on a similar journey. If your world is similar to mine, I’d love for you to comment and share! (Side note – I write on topics when I think about them so these posts are not exactly in chronological order! You may read about some of my recent experiences and then…BAM!…you’ll read about experiences from a few years ago!)”
What I wish I knew before my child came out as transgender
By Vanessa Nichols. Aug 2019. Blog post.
“They say that when your trans child transitions, the parents transition, too. And those words are so very, very true. …There’s so much I wish I knew a few years ago and I hope that imparting these key points will assist other parents who might be new here.”
By Sarah Kennedy Coaching.
“Humans are mean making machines. Our brains are wired for safety and seeking clarity. In order to find that safety, our brains will assign meaning where it isn’t necessarily there. By generating meaning, we create a sense of certainty and comfort. So let’s dive in to see what meaning is real versus the meaning that we may be self generating about the word transgender.“
You can’t change who they are, but you can listen with love and curiosity, and affirm what they are telling you
By Sara Kaplan. Submission to Medium, Aug 13, 2021. (US)
"As a parent, it is important to remember the time before they were born, or before you met them, when your sole wish was for a happy and healthy child. No parent knows what the future holds — who their child will love, or who will love them. However, when raising a transgender child, we feel tremendous pressure to answer every question that might arise. But all we can do is follow our kid’s lead, and listen and love them along the way."
What NOT to say to parents of trans kids…And what we’d say back, if we had the guts
By Bridget Sampson, Transgender School. Gender from the Trenches, Jul 2020. (US)
What to do when your kid comes out as transgender – From a mom who’s been there
By Bridget Sampson, Transgender School. Gender from the Trenches, Apr 2019. (US)
When will we listen to trans people?
By Vanessa Nichols. Blog post. Oct 2019.
“Many people don’t understand why I bother engaging in these online arguments. And the answer: because allies have to. We have to speak up more. It’s our duty to elevate the existence of trans people.”
Why parents of trans kids are a special kind of tired
By Vanessa Nichols. Sep 2018. Blog post.
“Yes. All parents walking the earth are tired. We are all absolutely in solidarity with that fact. We could all use about a week on a deserted island without any children, technology, or responsibilities of any kind. But I feel the need to tell you about the special kind of tired that parents of transgender kids are experiencing. It’s different than most versions of tired.”
Your transgender child needs a therapist — And so do you
“The importance of your mental health should not be underestimated”
By Zada Kent. Gender from the Trenches, July 25, 2020
Amanda Jette Knox – Author, Speaker, Advocate (Ottawa)
“Amanda Jetté Knox is a (Canadian) award-winning writer, human rights advocate and public speaker. In early 2014, their middle child came out to the family as a transgender girl, shifting the focus of their mom’s writing career towards LGBTQ+ rights and education. Alexis’ journey changed everything, and taught Amanda a great deal about courage, compassion and authenticity. It made them a better person. Full stop.”
A little over a year after their child came out, their partner also came out as transgender. Amanda wrote the national bestseller “Love lives here: A story of thriving in a transgender family“.
Blog started by a teen. (US)
"My name is J. I am transgender. FtM. I have struggled with finding a supportive community, and mental health issues for several years but through this blog, hope to create a new community not just for myself, but for others who might need/want one as well."
“This is a blog post written by a parent of a newly-out transgender youth. It was originally composed to an audience of coworkers to help them understand the dynamics of the decision and the issues that were potentially to come.”
Empowering the transgender community
By Dean Rasmussen. Trans man, coach.
“Dean (he/they) is a transgender man rebelling against the binary every chance they can. He and his partner Julie are parents to 8 remarkably unique humans, two of which are also trans. With a coming out story spanning nearly 20 years, a few sexualities and more than one gender, Dean has finally discovered what it means to live their most authentic life and spends his days teaching others how to do the same. Dean is a Life Coach whose passions are empowering the LGBTQ2S community, especially later in life transgender folks, parenting and personal growth. In many ways they’re just your everyday guy, in other ways, he is quite the anomaly!”
Podcasts and blog by two Vancouver moms of young transgender kids. Feb 2019-2020. (BC)
“Hi, I’m Lucy! And I’m Ruby! Welcome to The Gender Diaries Podcast. A place of community and belonging for parents of transgender kiddos and anyone else looking to support a gender diverse child in their life.” [“Hi folks! We are the co-creators of The Gender Diaries Podcast, broadcasting out of the Greater Vancouver area. We met online. Our real names are not Ruby & Lucy… and in our podcast we refer to our kiddos using the first letters of their names. Our identities are anonymous because we have chosen to keep our children’s identities private so that they can choose when and how to come out under their own terms in the future. We are two cisgender women who use the pronouns she/her. Our kiddos are 5 and 9 years old and use the pronouns he/him/his. Check out the PODCAST for available episodes, and the BLOG for more stories.”]
Gender from the trenches (GftT): Amplifying voices from the trans community
Not labelled as a blog, but articles are published by GftT. (US)
“Through the authentic stories of trans adults and parents of trans kids, GftT aims to inform as much as inspire. Brought to you by writer, trans advocate, and fierce 'Mama Bear' Martie Sirois, GftT invites you to step out of your comfort zone, explore gender, and see beyond the binary.”
Blog posts from October 2018-January 2021. (UK)
“We are parents in a family that includes a young trans child. We are blogging anonymously to protect their (and our identities).”
NOTE: This site is from Europe, so check your own country or province's legislation regarding anything that is country-specific. The blog, and the resources, include a LOT of information on all aspects of being transgender.
His mom's journey (blog)
“I am not a writer. I am an executive (who has a social worker’s heart!) and a wife who happens to have a CIS son and a transgender son. Along with helping me digest my thoughts, I simply hope this helps some other parents out there who are on a similar journey. If your world is similar to mine, I’d love for you to comment and share! (Side note – I write on topics when I think about them so these posts are not exactly in chronological order! You may read about some of my recent experiences and then…BAM!…you’ll read about experiences from a few years ago!)”
Raising fabulous: A dad’s journey with his transgender daughter
“I’m the father of a gender fluid son, and my goal isn’t to necessarily educate or sensationalize what myself, my son, or my family is going through. The purpose of this blog is for me to work through the thoughts that seem to be rampaging through my head on any given day as I deal with our new normal. If, you stumble across this and it gives you some peace of mind to know that you’re not the only one, or that the thoughts and feelings you have are completely normal then that’s great. If not, then that’s alright as well, because I’m doing this for my piece of mind for as long as I need to, and perhaps when my son (or daughter) is older he (or she) might find it interesting to read, or not.”
One of the Serendipitydodah blogs by the Mama Bears Organization. (US)
Tammy Plunkett. Author. Advocate. Advisor.
Speaker, life coach, author and advocate in Alberta.
“Former ICU nurse turned author, coach to parents of transgender children, and a mom to a transgender son and 3 other amazing kids, and advocate for all LGBTQ+.” Click HERE for Facebook page.
Trans-Parenting: Supporting transgender youth & their families
By Debi, parent of a transgender child. Blog and podcasts. (US)
‘Trans-Parenting is an organization dedicated to providing support and educational resources to parents and their advocates (pediatricians, mental health professionals, lawyers, schools, friends, family, and churches) raising a gender independent child.’
Blog in French. Female to male (FTM) focus.
“Sharing the life of a parent of a trans child, without taboos or restraints.”
By Leslie Lagerstrom. Blog.
“Transparenthood™ was a long time in coming, something I have wanted to do since we began our search for answers back in 2004 and found very little good information about transgender children (or gender variant children, which is the more common name used by the medical community). What I uncovered back then terrified me and proved less than accurate to be kind, or flat out wrong if I were to be completely candid. It was at that point that I knew I needed to capture what we have learned to make things easier for others someday. Fast forward seven years, throw in an unexpected retirement from a 21-year corporate career and the accumulation of what already feels like a lifetime of experiences, and the time was finally right for me to share our story. I am the mom of a transgender child. Put in the most simple of terms Sam’s mind and biology do not match. Sam was assigned female at birth, but has identified as being male since he could speak and is now living his life as one. It is my hope that in sharing our uncommon journey through this blog, it will help families in the same situation find solace, and for society at large to discover acceptance for people who really are just like you and me.”
Writer of Life. Advocate. Activist. Ally
Podcaster. (Also a blogger under name Vanessa Nichols)
”I have a podcast on Anchor FM where I discuss all things about my journey of parenting a trans kiddo.” Oct 2014-May 2020. (US)
“In January 2018, my son came out as transgender and much of my writing is dedicated to him, to our journey, and to my personal journey. This has been a learning process for me as a mom, to educate myself on what it means to be transgender. This road as a parent of a trans child is ever-evolving. My son is teaching me everything I need to know so I follow his lead. You’ll find that if you go back in my writings, prior to my son coming out, if you read between the lines, or in some cases, read the lines themselves, you’ll feel my struggle of coming to the understanding of having a trans child, and hopefully, you’ll also be able to feel my absolute unconditional love for him, too. My writings sometimes are sporadic, sometimes they’re messy, sometimes they’re raw. Much like life.”