Books and Booklets
This is a good place to start for those parents, guardians and allies who are looking for book resources. Many are written by parents or professionals. I have included one option where to purchase the book (Canadian is my first choice), but often there are other formats including e-books. You can also check your local library to see if they carry a title you are looking for, or if they can get you an inter-library loan.
Other sections with book titles on this website are:
BOOKS - AUTOBIOGRAPHIES
BOOKS – CHILDREN (PICTURE BOOKS)
BOOKS – FICTION
BOOKSTORES, AUTHORS, LIBRARIES
Transgender and non-binary children: Books to help adults understand
By Welcoming Schools, Human Rights Campaign Foundation. (US)
Families in TRANSition: A resource guide for parents of trans youth
By Central Toronto Youth Services (CTYS). Second edition, 2014. Archived document. (Ontario)
“Families in TRANSition: A Resource Guide for Parents of Trans Youth is the first comprehensive Canadian publication to address the needs of parents and families supporting their trans children. Families in TRANSition summarizes the experiences, strategies, and successes of a working group of community consultants – researchers, counsellors, parents, advocates as well as trans youth themselves. Families in TRANSition provides the stories of parents and youth along with practical and sensitive parent-to-parent and professional therapeutic advice. This guide was written and published by CTYS (Central Toronto Youth Services) with the support and collaboration of many community members and organizations, especially P-FLAG Toronto (Parents Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and Transceptance (a Toronto support group for parents of trans youth).”
Download guide: https://ctys.org/wp-content/uploads/CTYS-FIT-Families-in-Transition-Guide-2nd-edition.pdf
By The Family Support & Resource Centre, BC Children’s Hospital (BCCH). (BC)
The Family Support & Resource Centre has collected a number of books and other media on topics of interest to gender-questioning and transgender children and youth, and their families.
The trans generation: How trans kids (and their parents) are creating a gender revolution
by Ann Travers. 2018 (Canada)
“Some “boys” will only wear dresses; some “girls” refuse to wear dresses at all. In both cases, as Ann Travers shows in this fascinating account of transgender kids, these are often more than just wardrobe choices. From very early ages these children find themselves to be different from the sex category that was assigned to them at birth. How they make their voices heard-to their parents and friends, in schools, in public spaces, and through the courts-is the focus of this remarkable and groundbreaking book. Based on over five years of research in Canada and the US, and interviews with trans kids and their parents, The Trans Generation offers a rare look into what it is like to grow up as a transgender child. Illuminating the day-to-day realities of trans kids who regularly experience crisis as a result of the many ways traditional sex categories regulate their lives, Travers offers an essential and important new understanding of childhood.”
US & International Books
Beyond the gender binary
By Alok Vaid-Menon. June 2020. (US)
“In Beyond the Gender Binary, Alok Vaid-Menon challenges the world to see gender not in black and white, but in full color. Taking from their own experiences as a gender-nonconforming artist, they show us that gender is a malleable and creative form of expression. The only limit is your imagination.” Alok is non-binary.
The conscious parent’s guide to gender identity: A mindful approach to embracing your child’s authentic self
By Darlene Tando. 2016
“If your child is questioning their gender identity, you may have questions of your own. The Conscious Parent’s Guide to Gender Identity helps answer those questions, providing a relationship-oriented approach to supporting your child’s journey. Conscious parenting means being present with your children and taking the time to understand their point of view. Using this mindful method, you can support and guide your children as they discover their authentic selves.
With this easy-to-navigate guide, you’ll learn how to…: Communicate openly with your child about gender identity; Empower your child to make their own decisions; Create a welcoming environment at home; Guide your child through social and medical transitions; Help your child feel comfortable with friends, at school, and in your community; Deal with others’ opinions about your parenting choices; Plan a happy, successful future for you and your child. This mindful method of parenting will allow you and your children to strengthen your bond while allowing them to be who they truly are.”
Everything you ever wanted to know about trans* (but were afraid to ask)
By Brynn Tannehill. 2018. (US)
“Leading activist and essayist Brynn Tannehill tells you everything you ever wanted to know about transgender issues but were afraid to ask. The book aims to break down deeply held misconceptions about trans people across all aspects of life, from politics, law and culture, through to science, religion and mental health, to provide readers with a deeper understanding of what it means to be trans. The book walks the reader through transgender issues, starting with “What does transgender mean?” before moving on to more complex topics including growing up trans, dating and sex, medical and mental health, and debates around gender and feminism. Brynn also challenges deliberately deceptive information about transgender people being put out into the public sphere. Transphobic myths are debunked and biased research, bad statistics and bad science are carefully and clearly refuted. This important and engaging book enables any reader to become informed the most critical public conversations around transgender people, and become a better ally as a result.”
[Brynn Tannehill is originally from Phoenix, Ariz. She graduated from the Naval Academy with a B.S. in computer science in 1997. She earned her Naval Aviator wings in 1999 and flew SH-60B helicopters and P-3C maritime patrol aircraft during three deployments between 2000 and 2004. She served as a campaign analyst while deployed overseas to 5th Fleet Headquarters in Bahrain from 2005 to 2006. In 2008 Brynn earned a M.S. in Operations Research from the Air Force Institute of Technology and transferred from active duty to the Naval Reserves. In 2008 Brynn began working as a senior defense research scientist in private industry. She left the drilling reserves and began transition in 2010. Since then she has written for OutServe magazine, The New Civil Rights Movement, and Queer Mental Health as a blogger and featured columnist.}
Family Acceptance Project
By San Francisco State University. (US)
“Helping diverse families learn to support their LGBTQ children to reduce health and mental health risks and promote well-being”
Sites has Family Education Booklets such as: “Family behaviors that increase your LGBTQ child’s health & wellbeing; Family behaviors that increase your LGBTQ child’s risk for serious health & mental health problems”
Gender: What everyone needs to know
By Laura Erickson-Schroth. Dec 2020. (US)
“The term “gender” was first distinguished from 'sex' in the 1950s, when psychologists began to discuss the idea of 'gender roles' – behaviors and responsibilities given to people by a society rather than flowing from their biology. Over the last two decades, transgender people have expanded our understanding of gender even further, introducing to the mainstream the concept of “gender identity,” an individuals understanding of their own gender. Along the way, there have been numerous debates and controversies (i.e., what is the influence of biology on gender, how does the media impact gender and gender roles, and do transgender people reinforce gender stereotypes or help to free us from them?).
In an easy-to-read format that includes questions and short responses, Gender: What Everyone Needs to Know guides the reader through basic definitions; the history of gender as a concept; the role of biology, psychology, and culture on gender; and gender norms over time and across the globe.”
Gender: Your guide. A gender-friendly primer on what to know, what to say, and what to do in the new gender culture
By Lee Airton, PhD. 2018 (US)
“An authentic and accessible guide to understanding—and engaging in—today’s gender conversation. ”From the differences among gender identity, gender expression, and sex, to the use of gender-neutral pronouns like singular they/them, to thinking about your own participation in gender, Gender: Your Guide serves as a complete primer to all things gender. Guided by professor and gender diversity advocate Lee Airton, PhD, you will learn how gender works in everyday life, how to use accurate terminology to refer to transgender, non-binary, and/or gender non-conforming individuals, and how to ask when you aren’t sure what to do or say. It provides you with the information you need to talk confidently and compassionately about gender diversity, whether simply having a conversation or going to bat as an advocate. Just like gender itself, being gender-friendly is a process for all of us. As revolutionary a resource as Our Bodies, Ourselves, Gender: Your Guide invites everyone on board to make gender more flexible and less constricting: a source of more joy, and less harm, for everyone. Let’s get started.”
Gender born, gender made: Raising healthy gender-nonconforming children
By Diane Ehrensaft. May 2011 (US)
"A groundbreaking guide to caring for children who live outside binary gender boxes. We are only beginning to understand gender. Is it inborn or learned? Can it be chosen or even changed? Does it have to be one or the other? These questions may seem abstract but for parents whose children live outside of gender norms, they are very real.
Dr Diane Ehrensaft has worked with children like (Felicia, Sam, and Maggie) for over 30 years. In Gender Born, Gender Made, she offers parents, clinicians, and educators guidance on both the philosophical dilemmas and the practical, daily concerns of working with children who don’t fit a “typical” gender mold. She debunks outmoded approaches to gender nonconformity that may actually do children harm. And she offers a new framework for helping each child become his or her own unique, most gender-authentic person.”
The gender creative child: Pathways for nurturing and supporting children who live outside gender boxes
By Diane Ehrensaft. 2016 (US)
“From a leading US authority on a subject more timely than ever—an up-to-date, all-in-one resource on gender-nonconforming children and adolescents.
In her groundbreaking first book, Gender Born, Gender Made, Dr. Diane Ehrensaft coined the term gender creative to describe children whose unique gender expression or sense of identity is not defined by a checkbox on their birth certificate. Now, with The Gender Creative Child, she returns to guide parents and professionals through the rapidly changing cultural, medical, and legal landscape of gender and identity. In this up-to-date, comprehensive resource, Dr. Ehrensaft explains the interconnected effects of biology, nurture, and culture to explore why gender can be fluid, rather than binary. As an advocate for the gender affirmative model and with the expertise she has gained over three decades of pioneering work with children and families, she encourages caregivers to listen to each child, learn their particular needs, and support their quest for a true gender self. The Gender Creative Child unlocks the door to a gender-expansive world, revealing pathways for positive change in our schools, our communities, and the world.”
Guide to being a straight ally (US)
By Straight for Equality*, a program of Pflag National. 4th edn 2020. (US)
A guide for allies of LGBTQ+ individuals.
Guide to being a trans ally* (US)
By Straight for Equality, a program of Pflag National. 2020. (US)
A PDF booklet with information to guide allies of the trans community. Useful general info.
A guide to being an ally to transgender and nonbinary youth (US)
By The Trevor Project
“Our Guide to Being an Ally to Transgender and Nonbinary Youth is an introductory educational resource that covers a wide range of topics and best practices on how to support transgender and nonbinary people.”
How to understand your gender: A practical guide for exploring who you are
By Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker. Sept 2017. (UK)
”Have you ever questioned your own gender identity? Do you know somebody who is transgender or who identifies as non-binary? Do you ever feel confused when people talk about gender diversity?
This down-to-earth guide is for anybody who wants to know more about gender, from its biology, history and sociology, to how it plays a role in our relationships and interactions with family, friends, partners and strangers. It looks at practical ways people can express their own gender, and will help you to understand people whose gender might be different from your own. With activities and points for reflection throughout, this book will help people of all genders engage with gender diversity and explore the ideas in the book in relation to their own lived experiences.”
“For anyone who's ever wished they had a smart, kind, friend with whom they could calmly and safely discuss gender issues: this most excellent book is that kind of friend.' --- Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw
It’s complicated, am I transgender?
By Alexandria Anthony. 2018 (US)
“This book hopes to explain to the masses exactly what does being transgender means. In a nutshell and to put it as simply as possible, transgender is really an umbrella term for people whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not match or conform to what society typically associates with the sex that they were assigned at birth. Gender Identity really refers to a person’s internal feeling and sense of being male, female or something else. Gender expression refers to the way an individual communicates gender identity to society through their behavior, clothing, hairstyles, voice or body characteristics. “Trans” in society is sometimes shorthand for the term “transgender”. The positive thing to make note of is in the way transgender individuals are being spoken about in popular culture, academia and science and that it is constantly evolving. This book hopes to bring more awareness, knowledge and openness about transgender people.”
Our trans loved ones: Questions and answers for parents, families, and friends of people who are transgender and gender expansive
By Straight for Equality, a program of Pflag National. (2020?)
Useful for general information. Includes list of resources, films, books… ***
“Our Trans Loved Ones is a brand-new, updated resource. Written by PFLAG staff members, and created with the help of content experts, reviewers, and PFLAGers with experience to share, it is full of information, first-person stories, and expert input geared to those who have a loved one who has come out as trans or gender expansive. “
Raising the transgender child: A complete guide for parents, families, and caregivers
By Michele Angello. 2016. (US)
“Written by top experts in the field, Raising the Transgender Child offers much-needed answers to all the questions parents and other adults ask about raising and caring for transgender and gender diverse children: Is this just a phase? Did I do something to cause this? How do we protect these children? Who should I tell, and how? Will anyone love my child? Written by Dr. Michele Angello, a leading therapist and go-to expert in the field of transgender parenting, and Ali Bowman, bestselling writer and parent advocate, Raising the Transgender Child helps readers champion and celebrate gender diverse children while at the same time shedding fear, anger, sadness, and embarrassment. With specific and actionable advice – including coming-out letters, identity challenges, school and caregiver communications, and more – the guide provides a wealth of science-backed information alongside friendly and practical wisdom that is sure to comfort, guide, and inspire the family and friends of transgender and gender diverse children.
Raising them: Our adventure in gender creative parenting
By Kyl Myers. 2020 (US)
What did you have? A boy or a girl?” Kyl and Brent imagined it would be years before their child would identify with a gender. Until then…
“As a first-time parent, Kyl Myers had one aspect dialed in from the start: not being beholden to the boy-girl binary, disparities, or stereotypes from the day a child is born. With no wish to eliminate gender but rather gender discrimination, Kyl and her husband, Brent, ventured off on a parenting path less traveled. Raising a confident, compassionate, and self-aware person was all that mattered. In this illuminating memoir, Kyl delivers a liberating portrait of a family’s choice to dismantle the long-accepted and often-harmful social construct of what it means to be assigned a gender from birth. As a sociologist, Kyl explores the science of gender and sex and the adulthood gender inequities that start in childhood. As a loving parent, Kyl shares the joy of watching an amazing child named Zoomer develop their own agency to grow happily and healthily toward their own gender identity and expression. Candid and surprising, Raising Them is an inspiration to parents and to anyone open to understanding the limitless possibilities of being yourself.”
Reflective workbook for parents and families of transgender and non-binary children
By D.M. Maynard. 2020. (US)
“When a child goes through transition, the dynamics of the family unit can start to shift. It is not uncommon for one family member to feel one way about the transition, while another may feel quite differently. This innovative workbook discusses the unique needs of parents and families as they navigate their child’s gender exploration. Providing a safe space for them to work through their own uncertainties and necessities, it gives specifically tailored guidance and support, with sections on school life, language and terminology, finding a therapist, possible grief, social/medical intervention options and more. Personal anecdotes from parents and other family members offer insight and understanding, alongside reflective activities, quizzes and positive affirmations throughout.”
Supporting & caring for transgender children
By Human Rights Campaign, American Academy of Pediatrics, American College of Osteopathic Pediatricians. 2016 (US)
“Supporting & Caring for Transgender Children is a groundbreaking resource that explains how families and healthcare professionals are helping transgender children thrive.”
To download PDF file: https://hrc-prod-requests.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/files/documents/SupportingCaringforTransChildren.pdf?mtime=20200713125239&focal=none
Teaching transgender toolkit: A facilitator’s resource guide to increasing knowledge, decreasing prejudice & building skills
By the Transgender Training Institute. (US)
“A collection of 30 lesson plans designed to support facilitators in implementing impactful Transgender 101+ Trainings. TI is a team of transgender and non-binary educators who facilitate professional development and personal growth trainings. We provide tailored trainings for a wide range of clients, and also offer webinars and classes for individuals. All of our content is facilitated by our team of transgender and non-binary educators, so you are always learning directly from–and financially supporting–transgender and non-binary community members. Winner of the Division 44 of the American Psychological Association’s 2017 Distinguished Contribution to Education and Training award, &, Winner of the 2016 AASECT Book Award”
Trans allyship workbook: Building skills to support trans people in our lives
By Davey Shlasko. Oct 2017. (US)
“Revised, updated and expanded for 2017 - the new Trans Allyship Workbook is everything you've been wanting to read about trans allyship A workbook to help you build your understanding of trans communities and develop concrete skills for supporting trans people in your life, with over 100 pages of explanation, activities, illustrations and reflections including: New sections on intersectionality, singular they, and philosophies of allyship. Tips and "best practices" for the special allyship situations of parents, teachers, healthcare providers and therapists. Tons of new color illustrations. New activities - it really is a "workbook" - to help you deepen and practice your allyship skills. Extensive glossary to get updated on recent evolutions in trans terminology. Resource lists to help you take the next steps in your learning, whether for personal or professional development.”
TransForm: Answers to the trans questions you have no idea how to ask (questions from Trans Everything book 1)
by Jamie Winters, 2019.
“Do you need a lifeline when it comes to transgender topics?
Navigating through conversations about trans subjects when you’re still a newbie is terrifying. Do you sound like an offensive simpleton? Which pronouns should you be using when? What do all these new words even mean?
Consider this book your trans friend willing to answer any question you have, no matter how offensive. There’s even a glossary in the back to help you navigate through conversations! In clear, simple language, you’ll learn things such as: What it’s like to transition and live as a trans person. How to understand your own identity. The difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. What’s considered rude and polite in the trans community. How to come out or respond to a loved one coming out.
Written by a trans man who spoke at a TEDx event on gender identity and how it relates to finding yourself, TransForm is meant to be a reference for all. Whether you’re trans yourself and not sure where to start, someone who just learned someone they love is trans, or even if you’re just wanting to be a better ally, you’ll want to keep this book nearby for all your questions.”
Transgender 101: A guide to coping with gender dysphoria
By Adrienne J. Nov 2019.
“If you are trans, non-binary, questioning or unsure, ‘Transgender 101’ is the ultimate guide to help you come to terms with your gender identity and how to cope with dysphoria. Coming to terms with being transgender can be freeing but there are many challenges to cope with both on a personal level and a social level. Living as your true self is rewarding but sometimes we all need direction. This guide deals with the complete scope of what means to be transgender. This book includes sections on: Am I Trans? Coming to terms with your identity. / Coping with Transphobia. / Dealing With Social Transition. / Passing. / Hormone Replacement Therapy – What to Expect. / Dating. / Unaccepting Family and Friends. / Employment and Accommodation / and much more…
This book aims to help you with your transition so that you can live an authentic life with minimal hassle. A smooth transition starts by understanding what your aims are and how to reach them. ‘Transgender 101‘ guides you through that difficult process and aids in answering some of the more difficult trans-related questions.”
The transgender child: A handbook for families and professionals
by Stephanie A. Brill and Rachel Pepper. 2008. (US)
“This comprehensive first of its kind guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising their children in every city and state. Through extensive research and interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the authors cover gender variance from birth through college. What do you do when your toddler daughter’s first sentence is that she’s a boy? What will happen when your preschool son insists on wearing a dress to school? Is this ever just a phase? How can you explain this to your neighbors and family? How can parents advocate for their children in elementary schools? What are the current laws on the rights of transgender children? What do doctors specializing in gender variant children recommend? What do the therapists say? What advice do other families who have trans kids have? What about hormone blockers and surgery? What issues should your college-bound trans child be thinking about when selecting a school? How can I best raise my gender variant or transgender child with love and compassion, even when I barely understand the issues ahead of us? And what is gender, anyway? These questions and more are answered in this book offering a deeper understanding of gender variant and transgender children and teens.”
Transgender children and youth: Cultivating pride and joy with families in transition
by Elijah C. Nealy. 2017. (US)
“These days, it is practically impossible not to hear about some aspect of transgender life. Whether it is the bathroom issue in North Carolina, trans people in the military, or on television, trans life has become front and center after years of marginalization. And kids are coming out as trans at younger and younger ages, which is a good thing for them. But what written resources are available to parents, teachers, and mental health professionals who need to support these children? Elijah C. Nealy, a therapist and former deputy executive director of New York City’s LGBT Community Center, and himself a trans man, has written the first-ever comprehensive guide to understanding, supporting, and welcoming trans kids. Covering everything from family life to school and mental health issues, as well as the physical, social, and emotional aspects of transition, this book is full of best practices to support trans kids.”
Transgender children and youth: Understanding the basics
By Human Rights Campaign. (US)
“It is important to make distinctions between instances where ‘kids are being kids’ and when they’re asserting things about themselves that are critical to their identity and development — as is the case with gender identity and expression.“
The transgender teen: A handbook for parents and professionals supporting transgender and non-binary teens
by Stephanie A. Brill. 2016 (US)
” Is it just a phase, a fad, or a real issue with your teen? This comprehensive guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising a teenager who may be transgender, gender-variant or gender-fluid. Covering extensive research and with many personal interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the author covers pressing concerns relating to physical and emotional development, social and school pressures, medical options, and family communications. Learn how parents can advocate for their children, find acceptable colleges and career paths, and raise their gender variant or transgender adolescent with love and compassion.”
Transitions of the heart: Stories of love, struggle and acceptance by mothers of transgender and gender variant children
by Rachel Pepper. 2012 (US)
"Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child’s gender transition. Often “transitioning” socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference. Sharing stories of love, struggle, and acceptance, this collection of mother’s voices, representing a diversity of backgrounds and sexual orientations, affirms the experience of those who have raised and are currently raising transgender and gender variant children between the ages of 5-50.
Edited by Rachel Pepper, a gender specialist and co-author of the acclaimed book The Transgender Child, Transitions of the Heart will prove an invaluable resource for parents coming to terms with a child’s gender variance or transition.”
Two spirits, one heart: A mother, her transgender son, and their journey to love and acceptance
By Marsha Aizumi. 2013. (US)
“When this book was first published in 2012, it was the first book of its kind—mother, educator, and LGBT activist Marsha shares her compelling story of parenting a young woman who came out as a lesbian, then transitioned to male. Two Spirits, One Heart chronicles Marsha’s personal journey from fear, uncertainty, and sadness to eventual unconditional love, acceptance, and support of her child who struggled to reconcile his gender identity. Told with honesty and warmth, this book is a must-read for parents and loved ones of LGBTQ+ individuals everywhere.
In the past decade. Marsha has traveled the world sharing her journey and joy of parenting her trans son to diverse places such as religious groups, colleges and LGBTQ+ and PFLAG organizations.
“Two Spirits, One Heart is honest and impactful, and I am immensely grateful to both Marsha and Aiden for sharing their personal journey with everyone. As Executive Director of PFLAG National—an organization focused on the journey of parents and families of LGBTQ+ people—I’m moved by Marsha’s passion to make this world a better place for all people, and by her unwavering love for her trans child.”
—Brian K. Bond, Executive Director. PFLAG National“
Where’s my book? A guide for transgender and gender non-conforming youth, their parents, & everyone else
By Linda Gromko, MD. 2015
“Linda Gromko, MD is a Board Certified Family Physician who has worked with the transgender community for nearly eighteen years. She explains the basics of gender identity, sexual orientation, puberty, puberty blockers, hormone treatments, and gender affirming surgeries. She shares years of her patients’ wisdom and practical information on getting through every day in the best way possible—from coming out to parents, to school issues, to coping with depression, to love and sex. Why is this book important? We know that transgender kids and their families need specialized information. Alarmingly, the suicide attempt rate among trans youth is close to half! This book is intended to give gender non-conforming kids some of the information they need to grow to be happy, productive, loving and loved. It’s intended to provide the information we need as parents, educators, and health care providers to do better with and for our kids.“
Kindle edn: https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B018A5S6ES/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0
You’re in the wrong bathroom! And 20 other myths and misconceptions about transgender and gender-nonconforming people
By Laura Erickson-Schroth, MD and Laura A. Jacobs, LCSW-R. 2017 (US)
“From Laverne Cox ... to Thomas Beatie (“the pregnant man”) and transgender youth, coverage of trans lives has been exploding—yet so much misinformation persists. Bringing together the medical, social, psychological, and political aspects of being trans in the United States today, You’re in the Wrong Bathroom! And 20 Other Myths About Transgender and Gender-Nonconforming People unpacks the twenty-one most common myths and misconceptions about transgender and gender-nonconforming people.
Authors Laura Erickson-Schroth, MD, a psychiatrist, and Laura A. Jacobs, LCSW-R, a psychotherapist, address a range of fallacies: Trans People Are “Trapped in the Wrong Body”; You’re Not Really Trans If You Haven’t Had “the Surgery”; Trans People Are a Danger to Others, Especially Children; Trans People Are Mentally Ill and Therapy ; Can Change Them; Trans People and Feminists Don’t Get Along.”