Be an Ally. What Does That Really Mean?
There is a great need for allies for transgender, non-binary or gender diverse people, who may or may not be our loved ones. There is a lot of misunderstanding in regards to the community. These are specific resources on how to support transgender, non-binary and gender diverse people.
‘The first step to becoming an ally to transgender and nonbinary people is to learn more. It can be tough for transgender and nonbinary people to bear the burden of educating others about their lived experience. You’ll be able to better support the trans and nonbinary folks in your lives, and help to create a safer, kinder and more accepting world. Learning is an ongoing experience, so it’s okay to acknowledge that you might not know some things, even after reading. Part of being a good ally is continuing your education."
--- Excerpt from The Trevor Project's “Guide to being an ally to transgender and nonbinary youth”
Articles, blog posts, documents, videos, etc...
Video message by Liz Dyer, founder of Mama Bears and Sara Cunningham, founder of Free Mom Hugs. Mar 2021. (US)
“In honor of 'Transgender Day of Visibility', Sara Cunningham and Liz Dyer share some tips for parents of transgender and gender diverse kids."
Gender Creative Kids, Quebec. (Canada)
Being an ally: Best practice guide
By Alberta Health Services. LGBTQ2S+/Sexual and Gender Diversity. (Alberta)
It's not really that hard
By Fiona Dawson. March 31, 2021. (US)
By Jay Polish. 2019. (US)
"Your best pal or colleague or parent has just come out to you as non-binary. Maybe they're stoked to tell you, and maybe they're terrified. Either way, you want to do everything you can do to support your nonbinary friend.
So when someone close to you comes out as non-binary, agender, or genderqueer, listen to the words they're using. They're trying to tell you that they identify with something outside the gender they've been assigned at birth, and oftentimes, they want the pronouns people use to refer to them to match that difference. Here are seven ways you can show your person that you care about them and respect everything about who they are."
10 Things you can do to be an ally to people who are trans
By Straight For Equality. 2020. (US)
One-page PDF to guide allies of the trans community.
“Looking for simple ways to start being a more engaged and active ally? Try using a few of these suggestions to build your ally skills and start creating change”.
A beginner’s guide to being an ally to trans people
By Ted Ravago. Nov 2019. (US)
Beyond the gender binary
by Yee Won Chong. Ted Talk video. 2012. (US)
“Yee Won Chong shares a story about the challenges of navigating the world while transgender, and provides suggestions on being a good ally. Yee Won Chong converts practical skills and experiences to train hundreds of grassroots activists on effective communication and fundraising for social, economic and environmental justice. He is currently Development Director at Western States Center, a regional non-profit that trains people to organize toward a just, equitable and democratic society. Before moving to the Northwest, he worked in Boston with United for a Fair Economy and Haymarket People’s Fund. He is also involved with Alternatives for Community and Environment, Resource Generation, Progressive Communicators Network, and Grassroots Institute for Fundraising Training.”
The gift of language: Learning what it means to be transgender
By Vanessa Nichols. Dec 2019. Blog post. (US)
“Let’s continue to give the gift of passing on definitions and education and language for our trans community. Our entire lives are based off of education and learning and raising awareness. We can do this for our trans loved ones. It’s up to us, allies, to share the language we’ve learned with others who are uninformed. The onus isn’t on the trans community to educate. It’s on us. We know knowledge is power. It was a gift to learn the language I needed to understand my transgender son.”
Guide to being a trans ally
By Straight for Equality, a program of Pflag National. Washington, DC.
A .pdf booklet with information to guide allies of the trans community
A guide to being an ally to transgender and nonbinary youth
By The Trevor Project. (US)
“Our Guide to Being an Ally to Transgender and Nonbinary Youth is an introductory educational resource that covers a wide range of topics and best practices on how to support transgender and nonbinary people.”
Importance of your story as an LGBTQIA+ parent
By Sarah Kennedy Coaching. Blog post. (US)
“Your story is important. Your full experience of being a support for yourself and the LGBTQIA+ population is important. A marginalized population cannot make change on its own. We must own our role in becoming educated allies who are emotionally present and ready to support. To those who say it is not our lane, I offer a map to choose a different highway.”
The process of coming out: A parent’s journey
By Vanessa Nichols. Feb 2019. Blog post.
“We essentially come out with our kids in many ways. We have our own process to reconcile. Our story is important. We can empower other parents walking this path, helping them to continue to affirm trans youth, who obviously become trans adults. So we can start by letting our children be who they are. We are in a position of empowerment to amplify the conversation as frontline allies. We need to tell our stories, too, for ourselves, for other parents, and for our kids’ health. I’m here, with my transgender son, loud and proud. My story matters because I made a lot of mistakes. And I hope someone learns from them.”
Resources for parents
By Schuyler Bailar. Pinkmantaray blogger. (US)
“To any parents – I’m so glad you’re here. I hope that you find these resources helpful. If you have further questions, I’m always available over email or video chat consultations.” Schuyler is a trans male, an athlete (swimmer), trans advocate and speaker.
When will we listen to trans people?
By Vanessa Nichols. Oct 2019. Blog post.
“Many people don’t understand why I bother engaging in these online arguments. And the answer: because allies have to. We have to speak up more. It’s our duty to elevate the existence of trans people.”